Happiness Watts!

 I just can't get over how pretty it is here!

I just can't get over how pretty it is here!

I've been putting in some MAJOR happiness watts lately. If you ever get to know me personally, you'll quickly discover that on the other side of my super bright smile is an anxious busybody/ workaholic. I never feel like I'm doing enough. Bikes have been a huge part of helping me stay balanced. Riding brings me great joy, which is why I often remind myself "if it's not fun, it's not worth it". 

Naturally, training isn't always fun. You have to push yourself if you want to accomplish anything. I honestly enjoy pushing myself, feeling stronger, and seeing new limits. I set so many new personal records today (Wednesday) on my ride. I'm climbing and descending faster... way faster. It's something I've been targeting, and I'm proud of my progress. I've still got a long way to go to hit my actual goals, but progress is still assurance that I'm getting stuff done. 

 Confidence is an east coaster going down a -20% hill without thinking she's gonna die. Progress.

Confidence is an east coaster going down a -20% hill without thinking she's gonna die. Progress.

So the happiness watts. Riding in the rain, cold, or anything that isn't pleasant and sunny drastically diminishes the quality of riding for me. It's one thing if you're commuting from point A to point B, but if you're out there for hours in crappy weather eventually it gets you.

This week the weather gods smiled on me. I explored new places, made new friends, and even hit up the highly talked about group ride at the Port of Oakland. The locals affectionately call it POO. 

There I got to ride with a bunch of killer dudes and Katie Hall, the UHC pro who recently won the tour of San Luis in Argentina. No big deal you guys, but she told me I was strong and I'm still smiling about it a day later. I'm smiling not just because she's freaking awesome and I totally respect her opinion. I'm smiling because I knew I was really strong yesterday even before she said anything. I didn't hide in the back like I normally do at a new group ride. I was mixing it up in the front, jumping in the sprints, and pushing aside my self-doubts of not being on the same level as the other riders. 

 Beyond excited. I was fangirling and I didn't care who knew it! 

Beyond excited. I was fangirling and I didn't care who knew it! 

This led me to the decision to give up self-doubt for lent. I've been doing a great job being more deliberate in general. Putting myself out there has really payed off, but there's still the little voice in my head that says "you ain't nothin", and I still listen to that voice far too often. For lent, I 'm telling self-doubt to shove it. I'm going to "act how I want to feel" and go with it even if i'm not sure. I'm excited about this. I imagine it will be just as liberating as it was to ride with the boys yesterday. It's the little things. 

Ayesha McGowanComment