I was in a slump.

Image by @PinnedGrit

Image by @PinnedGrit

Every time everyone asked me why I was doing Kanza. I told them it was because @salmonilla planted the seed in my head that I could. When I agreed to it, I was in a pretty solid headspace, but as it approached, it seemed like my mental state had fallen apart.

I was in a slump, I hadn't ridden my bike for more than 20 miles in nearly a month. I felt extremely lost, and all I knew was that I didn't want to feel lost anymore. The next thing on my calendar was Kanza. It gave me a reason to get off of my ass and onto my bike. I had 206 miles to get my act together, and that's exactly what I did. By the time I crossed the finish line, I had learned a lot about myself and had a very clear idea of where to go next. My first step was to find a therapist cuz I was clearly a mess.

I'm rambling here, but I guess what I'm trying to say is that everyone has their low points, and everyone has different ways of dealing with that. Mine is to set a goal and decide for myself that only Black Jesus himself is gonna get in my way, and even he is gonna have to work hard to stop me. My strongest asset is undoubtedly my determination.

I'm barely holding myself together in this picture, but I had a mission, a purpose, and a hell of a support crew (@bossmeem & Emoji 🐶). I'm so thankful for this experience and the clarity that came from it.

How do you deal?

Ayesha McGowanComment